How to Get Rid of Self-Doubt and Gain Confidence

   Ever feel like life is beating you down with a sledgehammer? There have been times in my life where it certainly has felt that way. Sometimes life has a way of throwing a lot at us at once and when that happens, our belief in ourselves and our abilities can take a hit. Somehow over the years, as I navigated through the trials of life, that is exactly what happened to me without even realizing it.

             On a day that the Fall leaves were at their peak (of beauty), I decided to go to a nearby dam to take some pictures. I’ve gone to this particular dam most of my life as they have plenty of things to do there. There are hiking trails, little boats you can rent, fishing, cabins, pavilions, you name it. So, I knew the layout mostly, but I didn’t really have a plan for when I got there. I figured I’d see what I felt like doing when I got there. There is a small trail that begins at a water runoff area that has you walking across a bunch of rocks before making a loop around the dam itself. I got to the edge of the runoff area where the strong, but sort of still questionable steps led down to the rocks. I stared at those rocks and thought, geez I can’t do that. Plus, I was worried about just how long the walk around was.  At the same time though, I was watching young kids and adults older than me lithely making their way across the rocks with ease and thought, “Get yourself together Jessie. If they can do it, surely you can.”

Steeling myself, I started off and y’all – it wasn’t pretty.  I’m pretty sure I looked ridiculous because my balance could be better, but I managed to get across the rocks and start my way around the dam. Every time I encountered a new obstacle, despite not having complete faith in myself, I tried anyway. And you know what? I managed to do the entire thing. As I made my way around the final side of the dam, I looked over and saw this beautiful tree with its bright red leaves and decided I wanted a picture of it. I wanted it to remind me of what that walk taught me. Not only did it put that self-doubt on full display, but it forced me to realize that I am not as weak as I may sometimes think. When I look at this picture, I can’t help but smile at how much that walk restored even just a little bit of faith in myself.

Isn’t it funny how quick we can be to judge ourselves and say things like, “Oh I can’t do that” or “I would never be good at that”? We rush to assume things about ourselves before we even give them a chance. It is so much easier to assume that we are bad at things than to believe in ourselves and what we can accomplish. Its quite easy to rush to the negative side of things. For me personally, I can’t pinpoint a moment in time when it happened – when I lost faith in my ability to do things. It happened slowly over time until one day I was standing before a hiking trail realizing how ridiculous it was.

So, with all of that said, I would like to share with you some of the things that have helped me get rid of my self-doubt and allowed me to have more self-confidence.

Pay Attention to Your Self-Talk

As we go about our days, most of the time we don’t pay attention to how we are talking to ourselves. We think nothing about calling ourselves stupid, an idiot, saying we failed, or berating ourselves for not doing something right. Try to watch when these thoughts come up so you can start to change the way you talk to yourself. One of my best friends struggled with this too. One thing she suggested to me that helped her was saying three nice things about herself every time she caught herself being negative in her self-talk. Eventually, we both found ourselves having to do this less and less.

Identify Limiting Beliefs

Years ago, my other best friend was telling me about the fiction she writes in her spare time. She has been a writer ever since she was 12 years old. As she talked, I eventually said, “Oh I couldn’t write the way you do. I would suck at it.” But then I stopped and thought, ‘Well how do I know that? I’ve never even tried it.’ Needless to say, I tried it and found that I rather liked it. If I let myself continue to believe that I was bad at writing, I never would have started this blog! What beliefs do you have that are holding you back?

Get Support

Having the support of those closest to us can be a great way to help with self-doubt. It is those closest to us that encourage us, push us and remind us that we can do anything we put our mind to. Friends and family can remind us of this when we need it!  

Take Action

That thing you’ve been hesitating to try – What do you have to lose? You won’t know if you can do it unless you take a stab at it. Will you be good at it right off the bat? Maybe not but at least you attempted it. Who knows, maybe you’ll be better with time! Sometimes our biggest victories come from those things that scare us despite our wanting them.

Be Gentle With Yourself

As you go through the process of overcoming your self-doubt, inevitably, you will have days where self-doubt will still get the best of you, and that’s okay! That is part of growth. What is important is that you don’t let it get to you and you don’t let yourself feel guilty when it happens. Do your best to remember that tomorrow is another day and that you can always try again tomorrow. Eventually, you will find that you have more confidence in yourself!

Celebrate Your Victories

Those moments when you manage to have the confidence in yourself and your ability to navigate life should be celebrated! No matter how big or small, it is important to give yourself credit for those victories when they happen. For example, even if you had five negative self-talk moments instead ten, that is something to be proud of!

            These are all things that have helped me gain more confidence in myself as well as trust in my mind and abilities. Some days I still struggle with it, but I am far better than I was at the time of my hike. Comparing the me then to the me now, I see a vast difference and I hope that these tips can help you gain more confidence in yourself too!

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