5 Ways To Sort Through Our Emotions To Achieve Personal Growth

I want to tell you about one of my bouts of anxiety that I had over the summer because it became a large life lesson for me. Much like the caterpillar transforms into a butterfly, I’ve been trying to find ways to transform my anxiety into something better, rather than just letting it stew.  As the saying goes, better out than in, right? Over the Summer, my schedule became quite hectic between my work and a musical I participated in at my local theatre. What started out as a simple doodle that I was planning on throwing away, ended up teaching me far more than I ever would have expected.

Let me give you the short version of how it all started. I think a lot of us have had moments when anxiety overtakes us and begins to fill our heads with lies. You get the crushing feeling on your chest and it feels like claws are squeezing the air out of your lungs.  I had such a moment over the summer when I was driving home from work.  I’ve been spending time updating old databases by making phone calls to obtain the most current information. Before I left, my boss asked me to send her what I had done. I did so and left but on the way home, the anxiety settled in. I started half convincing myself that she’d hate the work I’d done on it thus far and would proceed to fire me. Quite a leap when all she wanted to do was look at it, right? There was truly no basis for these thoughts because my boss and the people I worked for are good eggs.   In the little part of my mind that still listened to reason, I knew she only wanted it so that if the businesses I had left messages with called back, she would be able to see what info we currently have and update it accordingly.  Convincing the rest of my mind of that fact wasn’t an easy task.

So, instead of listening to the little voice that kept telling me I suck at everything and that I’d surely be fired, I sat and sketched when I got home.  When anxiety rears its ugly head and makes me struggle to see the good in things, I decided to start trying something creative. I have found that it helps me give my brain the proverbial chill pill by giving it something else to think about. I looked up the first animal that came to my mind and quickly found some reference photos to look at before beginning my little doodle. I don’t have any background or practice in sketching, but I was simply doing it to help my mind loosen up a bit. It didn’t matter what it looked like.

            Each night before the performances for the musical were to start, I spent that little bit of downtime working on my doodle. My days consisted of work, eat dinner, and go straight to the theatre so I used those moments before the show as quiet time. It became a great way for me to focus my mind on the present moment. Once I finished it, I sat and took the time to look at my handiwork. It got me thinking about the butterfly’s life. They start as a caterpillar and eventually form a chrysalis. During their time in this chrysalis, they undergo a complete body transformation. Throughout this major change in the chrysalis stage and right after, they are in their most defenseless, vulnerable state. When you look at the butterfly’s entire lifespan, this chrysalis stage is only a small part of it before they complete their transformation and move on with life. It suddenly hit me that I’ve been in my own chrysalis of sorts over the last year. From the time I was laid off through the present, in my own way, I’ve been transforming into a better me. Like the chrysalis stage of a butterfly, it was and still is quite uncomfortable and I often feel defenseless against the old fears, traumas and issues that I’ve had to face but it’s been completely worth it. I’m in a much better place than I was back then. There were plenty of times where it sucked, sure, and there will be more difficult, uneasy moments to come but the growth I’ve been able to achieve, makes it all worth it. Things that used to trigger me heavily don’t as much anymore. I’m not in a constant state of fear and anxiety like I used to be. Just that alone makes it totally worth it for me.

I think we all have our own chrysalis moments through life. Some are small changes and others are massive times of growth. These periods of growth can suck, a lot, and we often can feel much more vulnerable than we would prefer but if we take the time to grow and really do the work on ourselves to process whatever it is that is affecting us, we will come out the other side all the better for having held on for the journey. It takes courage, perseverance and strength to get through it.

For me it took asking myself the difficult questions such as, where did that emotion come from? Why did I respond so strongly to that? Why is that bothering me so much? Sometimes, questions like that are the ones we do all we can to avoid. It takes bravery to not only ask ourselves those questions but to come up with the answers as well. They aren’t always the answers we want but rather, the answers we need.

I think the process of going about this is different for everyone and it doesn’t have to be done alone.  Here is a list of a few ways that can help us work through those emotions holding us down.

• Therapy

Therapy is a great tool we can use to talk, discuss and analyze things to better understand why we do the things we do. It can help us figure stuff out and gives us a perspective on things that we didn’t have before. Despite the stigma that can surround therapy, it’s a wonderful way in which many people find the peace and clarity that they need.

• Mindfulness Practices

Things like meditation and yoga are modalities that many people use to find balance. Does a picture of a person sitting cross legged with their arms on their knees saying ‘Om’ come to mind?  There is more than one way to meditate but that’s for another blog post. Meditation and yoga are ways that help people quiet the chaotic thoughts and allow people to explore the reasons and motivations behind their actions in a calm, nonjudgmental manner.

• Journaling

I know many people who find writing to be quite therapeutic. It’s important to get our thoughts out of our heads and onto paper. You can choose the method that’s best for you. It could be writing in a diary, journal, or even penning a letter to Dr. Sigmund Freud just like the character, Dr. Sidney Freedman, did on the old TV M*A*S*H.  Sometimes if you let the words flow, you find the answers you didn’t know you were looking for. I had a friend tell me that they write in a journal to help them process their day and to put the day itself behind them.

• Religious Practices

I’m going to try to leave this as generic as possible, so I don’t exclude anyone. Some people find that participating in their chosen form of religion helps them to find peace. Believing in and communicating with a higher power is beneficial for many people whether they do it through a religion of their choice or on their own with their own spiritual practice.

• Creative Projects

The possibilities are endless with this one. From woodworking to quilting to painting and everything in between, sometimes it’s in our creative endeavors that we find the answers we are looking for. After all, it was through my various creative projects that the idea for this blog was born!

As much as we as human beings want to resist change and deny the need for it, at the end of the day it’s still a part of life. The butterfly can’t stay a caterpillar forever. Instead of resisting this stage, the caterpillar goes into this phase of life without a second thought of fear or resistance.  The more we embrace this chrysalis stage of vulnerability, the more we will be able to move forward with peace and a better understanding of ourselves.